Talhotblond

I watched a "true crime documentary" the other night called Talhotblond. Uh... yikes. This was NSFL. I don't know why it was so scary to me. One thing is that I hate when things are narrated by the dead person. There is one show on the Investigation Discovery channel (god I love that channel) where the episodes are narrated by the dead person. I find it tacky and disturbing at the same time. Sadly this was narrated by the dead person, so I didn't like that aspect at all. Also, the production quality was horrible. But it was mostly the story itself that was really scary to me - and the fact that it really happened. Basically (spoilers): A 40-something guy (married w kids) pretended he was an 18 yr old marine sniper and started talking to an 18 yr old girl in a chat room. They ended up getting into a relationship (there is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than reading transcripts of people's chat-sex guys, seriously, yuck) but then called it off because his wife found a package the girl sent that included her panties and sent the girl a letter being like, dude you are sexting an old man, so then the girl started a relationship with the guy's coworker who she knew from the chatroom and who was was ACTUALLY 18 and got him to "mess with" the old guy by saying shit about him at work like that he was macking on an 18 yr old and so the old guy threatened to the girl that he was going to kill her new boyfriend. And then he did. By shooting him in the head, sniper-style. (That's the short version.)

And after all that I was like, uh, ew, creepy story. But then the dead narrator said, "I'm just glad I wasn't alive to see what happened next."

I know how the guy feels. Basically it ended up that the 18 yr old girl ("Jessi") was actually a 45 yr old married woman. Who had an 18 yr old daughter. Named Jessi. Who she was pretending to be. And who she covertly took sexually explicit upskirt type pictures of to send to all these guys (like 10 different guys, guys... beware, you may be one of them). So not only did she fuck with the murderer guy, but she also basically stood by and watched while he threatened to murder, and then murdered, an 18 yr old guy over this 18 yr old girl WHO DIDN'T EVEN EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE. Not to mention the damage she did to her own family, especially the real Jessi. Oh, and side note, apparently according to the woman's son, she is back to spending inordinate amounts of time on the computer.

I feel like I'm never going to get over having watched this. People are fucked up. I'm gonna go smash my computer, later dudes.

FWB

In college my friend Holly and I read an article (and hung it up in our bathroom... why in our bathroom?... I have no idea) about how kids today (when I say today I mean... 2003... ugh I'm getting old) are foregoing real relationships for what they call in text-speak "FWB's." Friends With Benefits. We thought the acronym was the funniest thing we'd ever heard. The article wasn't all fun and games though, it was pretty much all these tweens saying why doing FWB was ruining their lives. Holly and I were each in some semblance of FWB-ness ourselves, which we knew was a bad idea. Maybe we hung it up as a reminder that this never works. BREAK IT OFF!

Well, last night I saw the new romcom Friends With Benefits, starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Yum JT is a dreamboat. It was pretty good actually. I was teary-eyed through most of it. (Over-relating to the characters, yet again.) But anyway yeah it was way better than that movie that came out recently that had basically the same exact plot but was a horrible piece of shit - No Strings Attached starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. Awful. Terrible script, terrible execution. At the beginning of Friends with Benefits, I was worried it was going to be the same. But it was great. It had heart, and it was funny. And great performances all around - I was particularly impressed with Mila Kunis and Jenna Elfman, neither of whom I usually like - they were great. Plus, Patricia Clarkson. Oh how I love her. It was still a classic romcom though so I don't really recommend it for you guys. Also, it was pretty dirty - DO NOT watch this with your parents. Awk-warrrrd.

Also, I will say now that a day has passed and I'm thinking about that article hanging in my college townhouse bathroom, I think it's a bit unfortunate that this movie ends the way it does. (Obviously they end up together in a relationship and in love at the end after all this nonsense. And, sidenote - he wins her back by organizing a flash mob in Grand Central Station... sigh.) It's SO unrealistic. I mean, this is always the problem with romantic comedies, right? And yet I love watching them. I don't always want movies to play out like my own actual life, how depressing. But I worry that this movie would give impressionable youngins like the ones in the article the idea that they should go ahead and do this as a strategy to "get the guy" or something because this scenario would work in real life. But it's really not a good idea and I have never seen it work once in my life for me or my friends or anyone I know, it always ends horribly. I saw an indie with a similar plotline, which had a realistic ending, and it was really depressing. I'm not saying they shouldn't have made the movie, or that they shouldn't have given it such a great, happy ending. I just worry that it sends the wrong message. But hey, so do most romcoms, including my favorites (uh, hello He's Just Not That Into You... everyone ends up being "the exception"?? WTF?). What can I say, I'm a woman full of contradictions.

Anyway, that's that. I really want to see Crazy Stupid Love. I love Steve Carrell and Julianne Moore. Plus the critic on the TVs in the cabs liked it, and he never likes anything. It got 4 apples!

(What is my life?!)

No Jason I haven't seen Braveheart. I know, I know, I'm sorry. You guys can put back up that No Girls Allowed sign now.

I'm going to watch a movie tonight for sure, so I'll have another post soon.

"I'm so excited!"

Yeah Chris, that is still my Facebook picture. Best. Episode. Ever. And don't worry, I apologize for everything too. When I was younger a teacher once told me "don't apologize for living."

I went through training to be an online suicide intervention specialist a while ago. Brandon you did the right thing man. ;) Glad everyone made it out of that story unfazed... except maybe Tara. Ben, great response with the picture. Speaking of which, I'm jazzed about The Dark Knight Rises, I hope it doesn't suck.

Ben thanks for giving me the NSFL warning for Black Death - just in time, too! I see now that this is filed under the horror genre. Eek. Netflix has been trying to warn me against it. Not worth the nightmares at this time, I can barely sleep as it is right now. I think this will be one I skip, sorry guys.

I survived the bachelorette party!

I'm alive guys, don't worry! Various responses:

Ben, that's one of the absolute best scenes of Closer. "Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die." It's one of my favorite movies.

I'm glad Jason loved The Village too, I knew he'd have my back on that one. My friends always make fun of me for liking it. But hey, I'm used to that. (PS I was also surprised by the ending.) I liked The Happening too. I liked The Village better though.

I love Garden State and especially its soundtrack! Brandon you are infinitely cooler than me, especially when it comes to music. I like "indie" bands, but I am not a hipster. I think with this one it just comes down to the fact that there's no accounting for taste. I can see this style seeming really affected and annoying to people. Also I don't mind Zach Braff, but if you do, I can see how you would be annoyed by the whole thing. But I'm not annoyed by any of it, instead of it seeming like a Zach Braff ego stroke to me it seemed simple and earnest and quirky. I love it for a million reasons, but just one of them is that I was on the shitty breaking up end of a long distance relationship at the time, and that was how I wished it had ended instead. (Fuck the ellipsis...) Maybe that affected me an inordinate amount or something. But even without that context today I still absolutely love it, so I guess not. I might watch it again tonight, I love it so much. "So what do we do? What do we do?..."

Like Jason, I also own the soundtrack plus three Shins albums. Suck it haters. ;)

I didn't see The Passion. Blech! Blood! (They should call me for movie poster blurbs.) But I like Jesus Christ Superstar - London revival cast. Great musical.

Brandon, I'll put Hall Pass in my queue before Netflix jacks up the prices and I cancel my DVD subscription.

I want to see No Impact Man, it's been in my queue forever. I haven't watched it because I thought it would make me feel really guilty for using AC or accidentally leaving my cable box on sometimes or being grossed out by composting. Guess I was right. I'll still watch it eventually though, I deserve to feel guilty.

I'm disappointed that Green Lantern was not great. Ryan Reynolds is a hottie.

Black Death sounds sad. But okay, if you guys say so.

This weekend I watched Sherlock Holmes again for the 3rd time with my Dad. Such a great movie. I also watched The Lincoln Lawyer for a second time. Much better on a second viewing when I wasn't so worried about how it matched up with the book. Also, I watched Little Women with my friends the night before the bachelorette party. (Yeah, I thought that was weird too.) I've seen it about 8000 times. It's soooo sad. How was that my favorite book when I was little? Masochist.

Also, John, I think what I had for lunch is usually the main thing that determines whether I like a movie or not. Or dinner. Speaking of which, Jeff, stop talking about chocolate, in Jesus form or otherwise. I'm hungryyyy. Time to go meet my sister for beer.

What Ben said.

Great lists all around. Like Ben I haven't seen some of the more popular movies from that year. As usual. Also like Ben I don't make my lists based on "best"... which is why I never participate in list making, cuz I know that it's weird that I don't do it that way. I won't get offended that you think some of them are the worst, I know most people think that. Haha. I liked them, at least at that time in my life, what can you do, right? Speaking of, Ben, I actually liked Crash when it came out. It was too sad for me to watch again since then, plus everyone in the world hates it, but I liked it, I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. Had I remembered it it probably would have made my guilty pleasure/ embarrassment list. Anyway, time for bed, I am going to a bachelorette party tomorrow that starts at 9am. Oy.

2004

I hate making top 10 lists but I loved so many movies from 2004 that I thought I'd chime in. My lack of commentary (and italics) comes from the fact that my Internet is broken so I am typing this one-fingered on an iPad. Please just know that these are just the movies that were my *favorite* (which I distinguish from "best"... obviously.) There are quite a few others from 2004 that I'd like to see, including a few you guys mentioned.

1. The Life Aquatic - Jeff I am also a huge Wes Anderson fan, and this is my favorite of his too, and also one of my favorite movies ever. It's so beautiful, both visually and plot-wise. There's something about this entire film that really grips me and makes me want to show it to people to get them to like films. :)

2. Eternal Sunshine - You guys said it better than I ever could.

3. We Don't Live Here Anymore - Totally agree Ben. This is the movie that got me hooked on indie films. It so truthful. Best performances I've ever seen from these actors (and they are some of my favorite actors).

4. Garden State - Me too, Ben. It's another one that's one of my favorite movies ever. I think I've watched it a million times. I loved the script, the acting, the ambiance, the soundtrack, the shots. And there was just something about it that just resonated with me. "Good luck exploring the infinite abyss." Maybe it is a generational thing. But I think I'll always love this movie.

5. Closer - I think I should be embarrassed about this one, but I really loved it. It's another one that I thought was visually stunning, and I thought all 4 of the leads gave great performances. It felt real to me.

6. Before Sunset - You guys win. Going back and thinking about all the 2004 movies I've seen, I couldn't not put this on my list. It was great.

7. Kill Bill 2 - I agree with Brandon, I think this baby can stand alone. But like Jeff, I've never tried watching them back-to-back. Maybe I should. Anyway I loved this one, more than the first.

8. Saved! - I thought this movie was genius. Maybe more so since I went to Catholic school. But when it came out on DVD my college roommates and I watched it almost every weekend. It was a unique, smart comedy.

9. Wicker Park - I'm sure this will be an unpopular pick but I love this movie. I thought it was really well written, directed, shot and edited. Plus I'm a sucker for a twist ending. Here began my girl-crush on Rose Byrne.

10. Documentary Tie: Control Room, Born Into Brothels, Capturing The Friedmans, Super Size Me, Outfoxed - This set of 2004 documentaries (plus a couple others) are really what got me interested in documentaries. I can't decide between them, so I give them a tie.

Honorable Mentions: Maria Full of Grace, Sideways (I think you guys hated it but I really liked it), The Incredibles, I Heart Huckabees, Butterfly Effect (director's cut only! the ending to the theater version was horrible).

Movies I was too embarrassed to ever even consider putting on my list: Miracle (I'm such a sucker), Secret Window (me too Ben), Napoleon Dynamite (love it), The Village (I know it's known as Shyamalan's worst movie... why do I like it?!), Mean Girls (damn I love Tina Fey), I Robot (I know, I know, but it was so pretty and beautiful and cool and sentimental! My imagination totally took over when it came to the robots - I usually hate CGI but I totally bought into the whole thing).

Ben, I liked The Girl Next Door too! I thought it was kind of mis-marketed. Definitely deserves more attention.

I feel like I have 8000 movies to watch, even just from 2004. Too bad my Netflix doesn't work. Blurgh.

Oh well

I'm with Brandon on the Harry Potter thing. I was too old or something, I don't know, I never got into it. I had read and loved the Tolkein books like 6 years before the Potter books came out, and I think when the first book came out I was reading Anna Karenina... I started reading the first book in the store and I guess compared to that it seemed so kid-ish (and I mean at B&N you literally had to walk into the children's section to get it), not that I mind reading YA books, actually sometimes I like reading them. But the kids I gave piano lessons to were always squealing about it, so I guess it just held little appeal for me at the time as far as reading it myself. Obviously the series didn't end up being kid-ish, but it was like, by that point I had missed the boat. I never read them and just missed the whole thing. But I'm not anti-Potter at all, I think it ended up being a great series, and like Brandon said, what a great thing it did in terms of getting kids to read. At this point I just feel kind of left out. I always say maybe one day I'll read the series. Maybe like Brandon I'll read them to my kids one day. But I've seen movies 1-5 though! I liked them, they were really entertaining, even without having read the books. I'm sure I'll finish the movies eventually, but I have no plans to catch up just to see the last one in theaters with all the screaming fans. :)

My wireless internet is broken, and therefore my Netflix is broken. Ahhhh.