Black Swan

I finally watched it guys! Wow... it was so intense. I just looked up Androfsky's other films (because I never used to pay much attention to directors, I didn't know which were his). It makes sense that he was the director of Black Swan. Why? Because I loved Pi, I really got into that movie and even burned it for my sister... and on the other side of the coin, I had to turn off Requiem for a Dream because it was making me physically sick. The combination of the two is kind of how I felt about Black Swan I guess. I really liked it. And at the same time, whoa.

I always feel really bad for ballet dancers. I took ballet from ages 3-19. Thankfully instead of moving to a competitive studio I stayed at a shitty one and never got all that serious about it. But I have some friends who were serious about it... these movies are not exaggerating the lifestyle. Or all the blisters and puking. Movies about ballet always make me sad that they have to put themselves through all of that.

I think the reason that all at the same time I loved and was sickened by this movie was because I really related to the character, somehow. Hopefully that doesn't mean I'm insane. It's just that I think if I were in her position, a director would probably tell me the exact same things the director told her, and that would be so horrible, to finally realize your dream but at the same time to be criticized for who you are and pushed and pushed to become a different person with everyone breathing down your back and competing to take it away from you. Including your mother? How horrible. I also really understand the desperation she felt to be perfect, I feel that way every day. I loved that that was such a big theme. Maybe I should read this as a cautionary tale... am I headed down the path to insanity? :) But seriously, I can really understand her spiral downward. Clearly she had anxiety issues to begin with, and body/self-image issues. And understanding what that's like too, I really think the plot went exactly as it had to go. How could she not literally go crazy under all that pressure from everyone to be someone else? You guys know I have trouble with over-empathizing with characters. :) But I think in this case it made me like the movie more than I would have otherwise. I don't know why I was expecting something a bit different from Black Swan, but I'm glad that it was what it was. I'm also glad I finally saw it.

I think I might go see Meek's Cutoff here so that I'm not left out of the discussion. :) I'm sure it will be playing somewhere. But first I will watch Wendy & Lucy. (Finally.) Ben has only been telling me to see it since it came out.